To The Ambitious Moms
The word ambitious might come across to you as a negative thing. Being ambitious while being a mom, might seem like one of the worst things you can be. You can’t be ambitious and be a good mom.
What if I told you that you can? What if I told you it is one of the greatest things you could be?
To be ambitious means having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed. I have a strong desire to succeed in all aspects of my life. Don’t you?
A Desire to Succeed
Prior to having babies, did you find yourself loving your work? All your attention went into it and you found an identity in it. Working was a part of what made you-you. At work, you had confidence that was noticeable by all. The way you carried yourself the way you interacted with others was positive and you were taken seriously. You had aspirations and goals of where you wanted to be. You were ready to fight and work to get there. Going into work at 730am and working late was normal. Being involved in anything and everything, in order to grow, was the path to success. Making goals to climb the corporate ladder and be the best in all areas is what was encouraged. Having a baby was not going to change that. At least that is what I told myself.
Going into motherhood I planned to excel. Because obviously this is my child and how can I not excel at motherhood when I love something so much and know the type of work ethic I have. Well, my work ethic was there when it came to being a mom. But being a mom and having a career are two totally different things. I can clock out at the end of the workday and with motherhood, I am “on the clock” 24/7.
With motherhood, it felt like I was working myself into the ground. While Ryan was deployed Arya was my sole focus. I did some part-time work, but it didn’t last, and I didn’t want it to. I felt like working was making me a bad mom. I even felt guilty for leaving Arya with my mother-in-law for 30 minutes while I showered. That was less than a year ago. All I can think is how bad I want to shake myself for thinking at way!
Now I have started learning when to put my work ethic to the test in motherhood and when to lean into others for help. A strong work ethic isn’t the only way to do this whole parenting thing. You do not have to take everything on yourself. I have the most incredible husband who is my partner, my teammate, and the most amazing dad! I love seeing him in his element with Arya. I fall in love all over again watching how amazing he is with her. Plus my incredible sister-in-law is staying with us and nannying. She has been an absolute lifesaver because somedays it takes 3 adults to handle 1 baby. We also trust her more than anyone and Arya adores her.
Having my team has allowed me to take time for myself and focus on my goals and dreams that have been on the back burner for over a year. They have allowed me to become strategic about how I spend my time and where I put my energy. There is still a lot of room for improvement, but I am starting to feel like a success.
Do Not Settle
If you are ambitious, you won’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. And I will remind you again, you deserve the best you.
When we moved back to CA this year, I settled. I needed a job when I got back to CA and took an HR Coordinator job because I knew I could do it and I’ve been doing it the last like 4 years. I really want to be a generalist and know I can, but didn’t think I would get hired for it so I didn’t even apply. I was in this HR coordinator role for 2 months, when a recruiter reached out to me about an HR Generalist opportunity. When I interviewed, I was worried because I didn’t want to start work until 830am vs 730am. Starting the day doing breakfast with Arya, sets both our days up for success.
I genuinely thought this was going to be a deal breaker and they wouldn’t hire me, but I still told them time with my daughter in the morning was a non-negotiable for me. To my disbelief, they were onboard with it. Those are just two recent examples of times where I am realizing, the only thing stopping us from getting what we want is ourselves.
Now, I refuse to settle. I refuse to settle for anything less than happiness. I refuse to settle for anything less than an amazing marriage with my husband. I refuse to settle for anything less than the best for my daughter and my family.
This is something I promise myself every day and think you should too. If you feel like you are settling, you need to change something. You deserve to wake up in the morning knowing you are working towards something better. Although that does not mean you shouldn’t enjoy where you are at now. You should be enjoying your journey. But the point is that it is a JOURNEY. You have a destination you are working towards and another one after that.
Let Yourself Be Ambitious
Chances are once you became a mom you have been fighting against your own ambitions. Well, I am here to give you permission to have dreams and have goals and go after them.
Your babies are number one and mine is too. But don’t let that stop you from reaching your full potential. Your babies are your non-negotiables. You will still get the time with your kids and the time to go after what you want as long as YOU make it happen.
How is being ambitious a good thing?
In case you haven’t figured it out yet. Being ambitious is a good thing because you are striving to be the best mom too. Being ambitious means having the desire to succeed and that applies to every aspect of your life. What I appreciate most about ambitious women is that if they don’t feel like they are being their best self, they make the necessary changes to become their best self.
I am an ambitious mom. I want the absolute best for my daughter and I want the best for myself. I have come a long since I realized I can have both. Being a mom is a huge life-changing part of what makes me who I am now. But it is not the only thing that makes me who I am. There is still a part of me that knows I have more to offer this world. My purpose is still being discovered. I have new passions that I am learning about myself. My daughter and my husband are my everything. I love them with everything I have, and they love me enough to know that I can be an amazing mom and wife while still following my own dreams. And for that, I am truly blessed.