It does not matter if you are a stay at home mom or a strong independent workaholic woman – you need to take care of your self. You need to take a step back from all that is going on around you and focus on you. To the fortunate few, this may be a no-brainer. But for many this is something you may need to put a little more effort into.
There is more to self care than bubble baths and wine night. Self-care has multiple categories and it is time to start asking yourself if you are fulfilling them all.
The most common example of physical self-care is working out and going to the gym. It is really inspiring to see so many people working out and getting themselves to the gym everyday. Kudos to you! But honestly that is not me. I cannot seem to get myself motivated enough for the gym and I never enjoy it. We should enjoy our self care right?
For me, my physical self care is going on walks, making an effort to eat healthy, and getting enough sleep. At this point in my life, sleep is my biggest self-care goal. I haven’t slept a full night since Arya has been born, but I always try to get 8 hours of sleep. When I am fully rested I feel ready to take on the day. I may never make it to the gym regularly, but I feel pretty active carrying and chasing Arya around every day. As time goes on I know my version of physical self-care will evolve too.
Spiritual self-care has everything to do with nourishing your soul and seeking the meaning and purpose in life. For many this stems from religion, but it doesn’t necessarily have to. Taking care of yourself spiritually helps you focus on your inner peace. It’s about feeling like you are on the right path in life and like the universe is on your side. Taking time to meditate, do yoga, or write daily devotionals are great examples of spiritual self care.
My spiritual self care includes listening to Christian music every morning and praying before bed every night. Some days I drive to work in total silence and just focus on where I am in life and look for the signs God gives me that I am on the right path. I believe spiritual self-care is very personal between you and a higher power. No one can tell you the best way to take care of yourself spiritually, but I do think you owe it to yourself to discover what spiritual self-care means to you.
Taking care of yourself emotionally is about being mindful and in tune with your emotions. Learning to become self-aware is a great skill to help you channel through and understand your emotions. Doing thought downloads and changing your mindset on thoughts that are not bettering you is an example of of to take care of yourself emotionally. Writing down what you are grateful for is a great place to start. Or maybe just taking time away from social media to be creative or letting yourself relax and laugh.
Every morning I write down 5 very specific things I am grateful for. I try to write different things every day. I’ve even wrote I am grateful for new shampoo and face wash. Usually I write about being grateful for time with my family or where I am at in life. I take time to focus on my feelings because the more self-aware I am, the better I can handle the stress that comes with every day life.
Intellectual self-care has everything to do with taking care of your mind. Reading a book, learning a new skill, watching an interesting documentary are all examples. Intellectual self-care means challenging your mind and helping it grow. This kind of self-care can be uncomfortable because it usually involves learning something new. But when you are learning something new that you are actually interested in, the excitement overrides the uncomfortable.
My intellectual self-care started with blogging and has lead to coaching. Trying new things and putting myself out there can be scary at times. But I have been enjoying the growth I have been getting out of my intellectual self-care. I have been learning new skills, applying them, and having fun in the process.
Social self-care is probably natural for most people. For moms, especially new moms, it might be harder. The most common example of social self-care is spening time with friends and loved ones. For moms and military wives feelings of isolation can lead to a large need of social self-care.
Being a working mom and a military wife myself, this is something I am still working on. Feelings of guilt still rise being away from Arya and I want to be with Ryan every second because we have been apart so much. I have to work harder to keep connected with friends now. Luckily, technology and social media helps me stay connected. But somedays my social self-care is striking up conversation with a stranger while I go grocery shopping. I take what I can get when it comes to social self-care these days. A huge thank you to the ones who make the effort to stay connected with me too.
Applying into Your Routine
Now that you know what the self-care essentials are, its time to apply them!
Are you hitting all of these self-care categories every day or week? For some this is second nature for others it may take some work. Step one is realizing no matter where you are at in life you deserve self-care. Step two is to start taking care of you. And step three is to consistently take care of you. You can take care of you and be the best mom and best wife. Once you start, I believe you will be surprised with how much better you will feel about yourself and your abilities. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
My goal is to incorporate all these types of self-care into my every day routine. The days that I know I am hitting the mark on all of these, are the days I feel my best. I feel taken care of and in turn I am a more loving wife and mama. When my cup is full it is much easier for me to fill others.
I am a work in progress, but I feel like I am in the path to something spectacular.