“I am just tired”
If I am being honest, I am just tired these days. I have been setting goals and going after them, but the effort it takes just to get an inch closer can be exhausting. Some days I start questioning if my goals are really even worth it.
Is the feeling of accomplishing a goal worth feeling so tired every day?
Working Towards My Goals
I have goals that are literally turning into a reality and it is exciting and scary and honestly kind of draining. I am out of my element and I am not on autopilot in my life anymore. I have taken control and have made purposeful moves to create the life I’ve been dreaming of. However, turning off autopilot has meant I’ve had to put in more effort. And more effort leaves me feeling tired by the end of the day.
I was explaining to my own coach about how everything has been great, but I’m just tired. I’ve been getting enough sleep, but with so much happening, Im feeling mentally drained. She challenged me to question what my tired feeling was and to try to reflect on it more.
I had to ask myself when I’ve experienced similar feelings before. Because I am not physically tired, it is all mental.
When Feel Tired
Starting a new job always leaves me feeling mentally tired. When starting anything new, there is a learning period. There is more attention needed to figure out not only how to do the job, but learn the culture and the new environment. It takes time to learn, practice, and even make mistakes. The autopilot from the last job is off and it is all hands on deck. Every detail matters until the job feels comfortable enough and autopilot turns back on.
The first few weeks or even months at a new job, means coming home exhausted. But it’s a certain kind of exhausted. It’s the same kind of exhausted feeling when meeting new people and engaging with them does not come as natural as a friend from middle school. It’s the same kind of exhausted when I have to be upfront with others about exactly how I feel even when it’s hard.
Because if I’m really being honest with myself I’m not exhausted and I’m not tired. I’m just uncomfortable. And I’m uncomfortable because I’m growing.
Growing is uncomfortable. Growing is being vulnerable. Growing is accepting that you don’t have all the answers but you will do whatever you can to solve the problem at hand. Growing is turning off autopilot, being intentional, and making an effort.
My last few months, but especially this last month, have been uncomfortable. I have put myself out there more than I ever have before and it is scary. I am coaching people to chase their dreams, set goals, and be the best them. And I am doing the same for myself. We are buying a home. I joined a bible study. I started a new job in a position I wasn’t sure I was ready for. I am doing things before I feel ready because if I waited for myself to feel ready, I would never do it. All of this and more while still trying to be the best mom and wife.
The uncomfortable feeling is disguising itself as tired in order to protect me. My mind is telling me I am too tired to be trying all these new things. It’s my mind’s way of telling me to come back into my comfort zone where you won’t be so tired at the end of the day. Sorry mind, but my desire for growth is greater than your desire to protect me from being uncomfortable.
It is time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Giving Myself Permission
Some of you might read this and think, with all that going on, maybe I actually am tired. And maybe you are right. I don’t want to burn out. Which is why I also give myself permission to rest.
It is important to recharge and know what is needed to successfully do so. For me, sleep is crucial. I get 8+ hours of sleep almost every night. Getting fresh air and walking are also examples of my best ways to recharge. And of course, time with my family. My family is my “why” and the reason for enforcing my non-negotiables: The things I have to do for myself or else what’s the point.
Give yourself permission to rest and take care of you and your “why’s”. Give yourself permission to chase your dreams despite the uncomfortable feelings. Give yourself permission to be the person you were always meant to be.
Some days I may be tired, but I won’t let it stop me.