Are you chasing happiness? I am so guilty of this at times.
The more you think happiness is a destination the quicker life is going to pass you by. It all comes down to perspective. Owning your feelings and being in control of your thoughts.
These are 5 things I recommend to be happier right now:
1. Have a Grateful heart
Have you ever taken a moment first thing in the morning to think of what you are most grateful for? No matter what point in life you are at, on top of the world or at your lowest. It starts your day on the right mindset. You will automatically be happier when you think about what you are grateful for.
Do the same before you fall asleep at night. It can genuinely turn what you might have thought was a bad day into a better one. It gives you a chance to see the bigger picture of your life. You might realize that even though today wasn’t so great, tomorrow is a new day and you have so much to be grateful for. Each day is a clean slate.
I find what I am grateful for most days, is the time I spend with my friends and family. I start my day writing down 5 things I am grateful for and wow does it start my day right. I am happy from the get go.
On the days I am stressing to get out the door on time or stuck in traffic or just not in the mood. I have to take a minute, breathe and ask myself what am I stressing for? I have a beautiful family, a career, and friends who love me. If I am 15 minutes late, will it really matter in 5 years, a week, or even tomorrow?
Before bed each night, think about what you are grateful for. This might be while you pray or maybe or taking time to reflect. But be grateful for your day; good or bad. Maybe you had a great day. That should be celebrated and you should be thankful for it! Maybe you had a bad day. You should be thankful for it too, because I’m sure you learned something out of it. Even if you had the most normal boring day of your life, find something to be grateful for.
One day you will look back on this time and miss it. So try and be grateful for it while you are living it. I promise you will be happier for it.
2. Embrace Your Present
It’s all too easy to focus on either the past or the future. But please fight that urge! I have a mantra bracelet I wear everyday to help me remember ENJOY THE JOURNEY.
Maybe you are looking back on your regrets or thinking life was better back then. “Why didn’t I enjoy it more? Or things would be different if I didn’t make that one mistake…” I’m sorry to tell you, the past is the past and no amount of fixating on it will change it. Memories are a beautiful thing to reminisce on, but don’t let your past hold you back from your present.
The same goes for focusing too much on the future. Wishing for time to go faster because you think life will be better when you get a promotion or when you buy a house. I’m going to burst your bubble again and remind you, no amount of fixating on the future will make it come any faster. In fact you will most likely end up focusing on the past when that future comes, wishing you enjoyed it more.
One of the biggest things that has helped me be more present is my daughter. Although, I will admit on the tougher days, I wish time would go a little faster… But since having Arya, I am trying even harder to enjoy the journey. Every day she is getting bigger and more independent. I’ve never been more proud and emotional at the same time. Even the days she is truly testing my patience, Lord, there is no where else I’d rather be.
Even when it is hard, I challenge you to be happy for exactly where you are.
3. Live Your Dreams
Everyone has a dream and it is time to live it. Stop settling and start living life the way you have always wanted. You will discover the happiness that you thought was waiting for you at the “destination”.
This does not mean spend a bunch of money and get into debt trying to live your dream lifestyle. It is more of a self-awareness of knowing who you are in your dream life. What kind of person are you? Are you confident? Do you workout everyday? Are you volunteering? Do you own your own business? Do do you travel? These are the questions to ask yourself in regards to your dream life. And now, it is time to start taking steps to be that person.
You may not feel confident now, but tell yourself you are and learn how to become confident. You may not work out everyday, but start with a couple times a week and get into a habit. You may not be traveling all the time, but you have a budget to book 2 trips a year. Start small and work your way up to your dream life. You have to start somewhere and usually it starts with you.
If you think the way your “dream self” thinks, eventually her life will become your reality. This doesn’t happen overnight but once you nail down the person you know you were meant to be, you will be surprised with how easily things start to fall into place.
I write my dreams down in present tense every day even though they haven’t all happened yet. But it reminds me of who I am and the best me I strive for daily. I am an amazing wife and the best mom. When I write this down I know some days I fall short, but this is what I focus on and strive for daily. I am a strong and confident business woman. Am I confident every day? Of course not, but when I write it down I already feel like I am stepping in the right direction and can feel my confidence grow.
I may not be living my “dream life” yet, but by focusing on becoming my “dream me”, I know the rest will fall into place. And becoming my dream self leaves me feeling happier than I knew possible.
4. Surround Yourself with the Right People
If you are around the right people, you will know it, and you will have an overwhelming feeling of happiness. You know the people who love life, aren’t afraid to be themselves, lift others up and just genuinely care? Those are my kind of people and they spread real happiness.
Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. People who want the best for you. They cheer you on when you win and they pick you up when you’re down.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Who have a contagious energy to make the most out of life. Who will have meaningful conversations and make you believe you can change the world. These people exist. And they will be there for you if you let them.
Don’t be afraid to end relationships that no longer serve you. Life is too short for people who cause you stress and don’t better you. When you end bad relationships and focus on the right ones you will feel much happier.
My husband is my biggest fan. His support keeps me going on days I don’t feel good enough or don’t think I have it in me to keep on. Ryan sees things in me that I don’t yet see in myself and it makes me love him even more. We are each others support system and I know for a fact I would not be where i am today without him. He is my proof that who you surround yourself with matters.
5. Choose Love
Choosing love will lead you to happiness. Going through hard times is inevitable. Life will throw you curveballs. Your heart will get broken. You will fail at times. People will disappoint you. Keep your head up and choose love every time. Don’t get caught up the the negativity or feel like the world is out to get you. Be the good in a world when it feels like there is none.
Love yourself, love your friends and family, love the people who have wronged you and love the ones who don’t deserve it. You being kind to others, will always create the happiest version of yourself.
If you have a smile on your face and love all who cross your path, you will be amazed with how great the world will love you back. What you put out into the world does come back to you. If you want happiness you need to put it out there, even when you do not feel like it.
Happiness is a choice and it is a perspective. You might not be happy all day every day. But the only thing standing between you and happiness is you.